Tuesday, May 12, 2009

That really is a F.....g Bear!!

This post was inspired by my blogging friend Yael. She was reminiscing about things she had done in her life and I decided to share this amusing story. During my teenage years I was heavily involved in wrestling. At one point I was actually pretty good. Mind you in this instance it was obvious that my Testosterone far outweighed my talent. Passing through town one weekend was a small "Wrestling troupe", kind of like a tiny version of WWE. Also included with the so called "real" wrestlers, they had a "wrestling bear" and if anyone out there was brave(stupid) enough they could come up and challenge it. Well this is where I decided that I could take on the bear. I was 15 and chalk full of Bravado and minus a few brain cells. Reminds me of the joke, "Instant Idiot, just add testosterone." So before my rational brain could kick in, I jumped into the ring. There was a hardy round of applause. I guess everyone but me knew what was about to happen. The trainer in the ring informed me about no punching or kicking. Of course I knew that, I was an Olympic wrestler, just the suggestion was offensive. He then proceeded to tell me what the bear could(would) do to me. I was undaunted, afterall I was undefeated up to that point of the year. Well, here I was standing 15 feet away from a real live bear, though it was muzzled and declawed it was quite an imposing figure. My first thought was, "Oh my G-d, thats a fu..... Bear. So here I wade into battle, the bear reaches out with its paw to grab me and Wham it strikes me in the nose. Just as quickly as I realize Im bleeding the freaking thing now has me by the neck and is pulling me quickly to the ground. In my delusional mind I believe I can stop it but I fail to consider that it outweighs me by 300 pounds and quickly I am face down and pinned. The trainer comes over and then gets the beast off of me. Ah the joy of youth. Makes for some lasting impressions to say the least.

10 comments:

atimetorend said...

Too bad you don't have a photo of the event to go with the post...

Luke said...

you fought a bear?!

any plans to take on a shark?

Tit for Tat said...

Luke

What do you mean, I married one Lol.

freestyleroadtrip said...

That is hilarious. I thought that "bear" was just a nickname at the beginning, but you fought a real bear. Tough dude you are.

thecheekofgod said...

You are now officially the only person I know who has rassled a bear! Way to go . . .

Yael said...

Why does this story not surprise me? LOL

societyvs said...

B*tch slapped by a bear - then pinned - ouch...rough day. Funny as hell though.

Bears have one small weakness to remember - kfc chicken. Bring that in the ring with you throw it one corner then it wont come near you - just to the chicken.

Most people don't know this but Colonel Sanders actually got his idea for the 11 secret spices from a talking bear and his nephew in the woods of Yellowstone. To this day the aroma still drives bears batty and into a wicked food rage.

Kudos for the battle!

Tit for Tat said...

Jason

Col sanders was the man. ;)

thecheekofgod said...

I remember this post! And I even left a comment. You're still the only person I know who wrestled a bear.

Thanks for sharing this on my blog . . .

Anonymous said...

Poor bear. What a crappy life. Muzzled and declawed.