Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sticks and Stones..................

Part One

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me."

We all remember this little diddly. Isnt it interesting how wrong it is. Violence is so much more than physicality. Some of the worst violence we know is the type that tore a strip off our spirit. The words of a loved one or rival that hit at our most sensitive part did much more damage than any punch could ever do. I am going to post a series over the next little while on Violence. I am going to try and explore and explain how it has shaped me and my worldview, both for the good and for the bad. I would love to hear from others on their experiences.


mac said...

Ok, John. I'll try.

I have an older brother. He is, and was, quite a bully. I was harrassed throughout my childhood. He used to beat me up at least once a week, eventhough, as the rest of my family would point out, I was a fair bit bigger and stronger than he was. But he was a fair bit meaner than me for the longest time. All that chasnged when, at 16, I put a hurting back on him that he didn't quite get over for a long while.

He stopped picking at me physically, but he continued for years with the emotional and verbal assaults.

My last straw was, in an arguement about 5 years ago, when he took his abuse beyond me and said some Nasty things about my wife, things I would never say about his wife, girlfriend, or dog for that matter.

The fist fighting didn't really affect me greatly. I think I may be tougher for having been through that (I did earn my Blackbelt in TKD, thanks Bob). But I will never forget and probably not forgive him for the things he said about my wife, in front of our son no less. I think the fact that we share parents may have saved him that day, 'cause I was going to hurt him severely....but I could see Mom crying "but you know he's a hot-head and doesn't really mean anything by it". I never told her all that he said either, it would just be me relaying hurtful sentiments(?).

To this day I haven't spoken more than 10 words to him. It's not like I'm still angry, rather I'm indifferent towards him. Why waste time and energy caring for someone who clearly does not appreciate or deserve it?

I suppose I agree with ya :-)

Tit for Tat said...

Thanks Mac

I can relate to the big brother bit. Unfortunately blood doesnt ensure Love. I was always on the receiving end when we were younger too. I never had the chance to discuss what he did to me, he killed himself at 25. I think I always forgave him, more than anything I felt pity for him.

On a side note, where are you located and do you golf? :)

mac said...

Currently, I'm in Tennessee.
I was raised in Ohio, joined the Army at 18 and developed wanderelust, moving a few times. I settled here about 4 years ago. I stay because that woman and my son are here.

But, no I'm not much of a golfer. That's another thing that brother used to pick on me about, sucking at golf :-)

mac said...

Reading about your brother disturbs me.

I am saddened for you. I wonder if I'll ever change my feelings towards my own brother.

If he ever apologizes, perhaps.

Tit for Tat said...

Mac.........By the way, is that your real name?

Dont feel sorry for me. I have come to terms with my brother long ago. I hope you do the same with yours.

Sabio Lantz said...


Suggestion -- if you want to know if you can meet people for golf dates, what their real age is, what their real name is, you can always e-mail them and ask. Heck, you might find a few who will send you photos of their children and their social security numbers.

Seriously (since you ask for feedback), when you ask personal stuff in a public site where people use aliases, etc, you seem like a venus fly trap. E-mail would be a way to avoid that image. All may not agree, but I truly think many would -- of course, the ones who do may not be reading this site any longer.

Just my thoughts.

Tit for Tat said...


If people are offended by me asking somewhat vague questions about them, they just need to tell me. Its not like Im asking for their social insurance number or their visa. Come on man, not everyone on here has to hide who they are completely, for fear they might offend some people in their lives. By the way, I actually meet people that I come to know from blogging. It is a great way to get out and see other parts of North America and the carribean for that matter. You should try it, you never know you might make some friends.

Anonymous said...

Looking forward to this series, John. Methinks I may have provoked it, so I'm looking forward to hearing more from your perspective . . .

mac said...

mac is a nickname I got in the Army many, many years ago. it's a shortened version of my last name, McSometning ;-)

I'm not sure what crawled up that guy's hiney, but I'm not offended, nor do I think you too forward. I think it's nice to know a little about the people on the other end of this machine, no?

In the vein of poking around, I dropped in on your wife's blog too.
Wow, you seem like a great couple.

Yeah, Sabio, I'm 44 years old ;-)