Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Gallows Humour

Many years ago before I became a Massage Therapist I had a job as an orderly at a local rehab hospital. I was 20yrs old and full of life. One evening as I was doing my rounds I came into a room and proceeded to put up the bed rails of the patients. One of the patients requested that I leave his down and come back later to put it up. I figured I was going on break soon, so I said I would do it after that. When I returned to the room I found that he was no longer breathing. I was a little out of sorts to say the least. I felt ill equipped to begin CPR, so I went to the front desk to tell the Head Nurse of my predicament. She screamed "Doctor Heart" and there was a flurry of activity. They attempted to revive the gentleman but too much time had elapsed and he was declared dead on the spot. It was then that I and several others had to prepare this man for the morgue. We were all new to the experience of dealing with death and the tension was palpable. It was at that moment I decided to try to "lighten" the moment. Seeing as the man was a double amputee(legs) due to his diabetes I remarked, "Where are we going to put the Toe Tag"? Unfortunately that little joke did not go down to well. Never to be put off by a simple failure I tried again shortly after. We were in the midst of moving the body from the bed to a guerney when all of a sudden there was a raspy growl from the body. The nursing assistant then yelped and dropped him back on the table. At that moment I remarked, "He's Alive". After a collective groan I realized my future as a stand up comic would not become a reality.

11 comments:

Gucci Mama said...

Sheesh, rough crowd! Can't imagine why everyone didn't collapse into peals of laughter, Titty Tat.

Que said...

That's pretty funny! I can't imagine why they didn't share in the humor. :)

Thomas said...

This post leads me to believe that in an alternate universe, you are a very successful comedian.

societyvs said...

That had me laughing, it's tragic but that made it more funny.

mac said...

Ha !

That was funny.
When I wasin the Army, as a young man, I used to get in trouble all the time for my inappropriate humor or that I was smiling all the time.
I told them, "I laugh because you bastards will really be on my ass if I cry!"

SoccerMom said...

I guess I didnt know you massaged shit!
lol
hmmmmmmmmm, I sure could use a good sports massage therapist.
It's too bad you live so far away.

The Constant Complainer said...

Tit for Tat, ouch, bad jokes and bad timing. I thought it was funny now in story-form. But can certainly understand why it wasn't back in the day. But hey, you were a trooper for trying to lighten up the crowd.

Beryl said...

cringe laugh cringe

repeat.

but, humor IS supposed to be stress relieving...

Tit for Tat said...

Everyone

Well if you didnt think those were funny, you shouldnt been there when I had to go unwrap the body for a family viewing. Now that was truly gallows humour.

Papa K said...

I woulda laughed at you. The toe tag thing was hilarious!

Luke said...

i would tell you some jokes i made during CPE but it may get me kicked out of the ministry.