Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Daddy, what is "dirty sex"?

And here we have it, my introduction into sex education with my daughter. I have been having discussions with my daughter on sexuality and I recently noticed she was a little uncomfortable with me asking the questions, so I invited her to ask me instead. So she then proceeds to go, "Dad, um, ah, well ok I'll just ask...."What is dirty sex?". Im thinking "oh my god, what did you say". I try to keep a straight face, my first thought being, "Have you been talking to Denise" lol. So I bet youre all wondering how I can make this discussion about religion? Well first off, after I recovered from the shock of the question, I had to ask myself where the idea of "dirty sex" came from. I realized that its origins are from religion. Firstly the idea that sex outside of marriage was deemed "sinful" or "evil". It then morphed into certain sexual acts as being "sinful" or dirty. Now obviously there are some sexual acts that are debasing or "dirty" so to speak, but in the context of a loving relationship why do we still use the phrase "dirty sex" when describing our sex life? It is not only the religious who use this phrase, I hear it from just as many secular people as well. The great thing about my daughters question is that it naturally evolved into discussing such things as Trust, Commitment, Love, Safety and many other issues that help us to have healthy relationships that involve sexuality. I hope for my daughter that she has all options available to her, including abstinence. All are tools that can help her navigate the world of sexuality and relationships. I will remind you though, when talking with your children be prepared for what they may ask. "Out of the mouth of babes"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Which way do you swing?

I recently have been having some interesting discussions on Homosexuality and Sin as viewed from the Christian perspective on It got me thinking about how we used to view people who are left handed. Now back in the day of my parents and before, it was viewed in a negative light. It seems much of this viewpoint was taken because of Biblical material. It seems that many positive references are given to right handed people, e.g. "The right hand of the lord doeth valiantly, the right hand of the lord is exalted" (Psalm 118 vv15,16). Also the left is commonly held with disdain as noted by this, "The left hand does worst in the parable of the sheep and goats. The sheep are set on Christ's right hand and the goats on the left. Those on the right inherit the kingdom of god while those on the left depart into everlasting fire". For years the Nuns tried to "correct" people who were left handed because of the misguided belief that there was something wrong with them. Now fortunately we have grown in our understanding of the brain and how genetic predispositions work. Unfortunately it doesnt seem to hold true for some Christians in regards to Homosexuality. They still hold firm to the idea that it is a "Sin" to be gay and that it is some kind of character flaw. They seem to disregard the evidence that is pointing to the genetic markings of gay people. A gay person is no different than a heterosexual individual other than their brain has them attracted to the same sex. I wonder if it is a wiring, like that of a "Left" handed individual. If so, how can that be considered bad? I hope for the day when people can view other individuals like a Baseball coach/manager would view rookies at spring training.

Rookie: "I bat right"
Coach: "Very good Son"

Rookie: "I bat left"
Coach: "You will have a unique role on this team."

Rookie: "Im a switch hitter."
Coach: "Oh my God, you are Divine."