Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Party Crashers: Everyone loves to Celebrate

I imagine the look on the face of Ooog the caveman who's partying down with his wife Ooogette when Org decides he wants to join the party. I wonder if he could be classified as the original party crasher. If not, we do have another moment in history when someone decided they wanted in on the festivities. That my friends would be the "Christians". You see, Jesus wasnt born on Dec. 25, I think some God named Mithras has that claim(though I could be wrong). Jesus was born in the springtime(at least that is the conclusion of most historians). I guess someone decided that a great time to announce the coming of "their" god would be at someone else's party. Think about it, people are drunk, they are generally in a very positive mood and there would be lots and lots of very amenable persons. Brilliant! So for all you secular people who dont subscribe to religious ideas, why dont you just take this Christmas as your own. Oh wait, you already did that. Happy Holidays.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Out of my League.........3/4NS

Mama Still Wears Gucci

Some of my friends think I married out of my league, what do you think? (Click on her Pic)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Raise your hands up in the Air!

Doesn't anybody know how to walk anymore?
Doesn't anybody know what a radio is for ?
Doesn't anybody wear their hair down low ?
Doesn't anybody know? doesn't anybody know?

Doesn't anybody hate it when the street light.. turns red?
Doesn't everybody want five more minutes in bed ?
Doesn't anybody, doesnt anybody have a letter to send ?
Doesn't everybody wish to have just one more friend ?

Cause eveybody wants, and everybody needs
Everybody asks for one more piece
Everybody wants to hear someone say please
Cause everybody takes, and everybody steals
Everybody cries when something feels
Everybody's looking for the drug that heals

Doesn't anybody wanna take another shot at me ?
And go ahead the gun is loaded and the bullets are for free
Doesn't everybody spray perfume to cover up a smell ?
Doesn't anybody know where I go to get some air?

Cause everybody wants, and everybody needs,
Everybody begs for self esteem
Why don't you get your mind out of the past
And everybody takes and everybody steals,
Everybody's been kicked by other heels

Please raise your hands up in the air..

Yeah..why don't you raise your hands up in the air
Why don't you raise your hands up in the air

Cause everybody wants...

Doesn't anybody know how to walk anymore?
Doesn't anybody know what a radio is for ?
Doesn't anybody wear their hair down low ?
Doesn't anybody know? doesnt anybody know?

Cause everybody wants

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

RANTING: Left or Right you pretty much all sound the same.

Watching the Political discourse on Fox or CNN pretty much reminds me of this song.

Gucci, I thought I heard you about the 2:05 minute mark. :)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cherry Pickers.......................

I've always wondered how the chick could tie the stem with her tongue? Equally baffling for me is how certain individuals label themselves “Conservative” even though many of their actions speak otherwise.

Now I understand that we all have certain values and for many of us those values would be deemed conservative but what do you call those people when their other actions show a completely different viewpoint? You can be pro life, same sex marriage, right to bear arms, lower taxes, which are all typically conservative values. But what happens when you have other interests, such as, porn, profanity or ostentatious displays(bling for contemporary people). I have a pretty hard time listening to people swearing more than a drunken sailor who has been at sea for 6 months or the individuals who like to role play about being “spanked by daddy” and then keeping the film in their lockbox for future viewings(hope the kids or parishioners don't find it), and then they tell you that they are conservative. Showing others that you have more and better stuff isn't a typical conservative trait, nor is it nice.

The point I'm trying to make is we all like to label others or ourselves, but doesn't that do a disservice to the person we are? What happens when we don't line up completely with that label, does that make you less of a person? Of course not! What demeans you is when you try to deny the fact that you are multi-dimensional and you label yourself based on a typical polarizing political viewpoint.

I think the individuals who call themselves Conservative or Liberal are like the chick with the cherry, they must have a forked tongue.

An interesting side note. Rupert Murdoch owner of Fox News Network and the leading conservative newspaper, The Wall Street Journal, was pulling in more porn money through a satellite company than Playboy made with its magazine, cable, and Internet businesses combined.

I wonder if he's Liberal or Conservative??

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Multi Culturalism is a Misnomer.

Here in Canada we pride ourselves on being "Multicultural". True enough we have Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Lebanese and many other cultures that live here, but are we truly a multicultural society? I sure do love some good old fashion Humus. Also, who doesnt like the effects of some belly warming Saki. Garlic spare ribs with some egg rolls are also delicious. These days I have even taken a liking to Bollywood dancing. For years I have always liked training Karate and Judo. Seeing that we incorporate many aspects of other cultures into ours does that mean we are truly "Multicultural"? I think not. For the truth is, even though I love many aspects of these cultures there are many things that I dont want to be incorporated into ours. I wonder how many women would like a Clitoridectomy? This is a horrific cultural practice in some African nations. I would imagine some of us like to get stoned(smoking pot), but Im not so sure they want to be "stoning" their daughters like the cultural practice that happens in some middle eastern countries. Though bollywood is a great Indian cultural practice do any one of us want to apply the ancient tradition of Sati that some hindu communities practice? I would imagine Gloria Steinem would not be in any hurry to burn herself alive if her hubby died. The truth is we cannot truly be multicultural. Sure we can incorporate certain traditions that make our culture prosper in many areas, but there has to be a dominant cultural practice. Our culture has and is growing past supertitious beliefs and religious interference in the lives of our citizens. We are truly becoming a society that is based on the rule of law that protects the rights and lives of its population. I think that we all need to look closely at how much other "cultures" are going to shape our future for our children. If not, we may lose the culture we have worked so hard to build.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Nine Lives.....................#1

Recently I was reminiscing about events in my life that could have easily turned for the worse. Fortunately nothing dire happened but it sure did seem like I was using up some of my "Nine Lives". Hope you enjoy both the humour and foolishness of some of my youthful indiscretions.

Back in my early twenties several of my friends and I used to frequent a local strip club to play pool for money and beers. I know, I know, but really, it was for money and beers. The scenery was definately a plus though. During one of my games I was embroiled in a heated debate over a shot that I took. It turned out the gentleman I was playing with did not agree with my position. During the course of our disagreement it came out that he was a member of a motorcycle gang that I was not familiar with. My friends knew of them but I was ignorant of their actual status. My conversation with the biker went something like this.

Me: Let me guess, youre a Hell's Angel wanna be.

Biker: Do  you not know who we are????

Me: What, just some stupid motorcycle gang!

Biker: (stares me down) You know what, its your lucky night.

He then proceeds to walk away. By this time my friends in the corner were turning white with fear. They yelled at me for being a fucking idiot. They then proceeded to tell me that the "Outlaws" were actually a rival of the Hells Angels and that they ran the strippers in and out of the clubs in that area. For the next several weeks I stayed away from that establishment and thanked my lucky stars I wasnt swimming with the Fishies that evening. I guess some days its better to be lucky than smart.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Gallows Humour

Many years ago before I became a Massage Therapist I had a job as an orderly at a local rehab hospital. I was 20yrs old and full of life. One evening as I was doing my rounds I came into a room and proceeded to put up the bed rails of the patients. One of the patients requested that I leave his down and come back later to put it up. I figured I was going on break soon, so I said I would do it after that. When I returned to the room I found that he was no longer breathing. I was a little out of sorts to say the least. I felt ill equipped to begin CPR, so I went to the front desk to tell the Head Nurse of my predicament. She screamed "Doctor Heart" and there was a flurry of activity. They attempted to revive the gentleman but too much time had elapsed and he was declared dead on the spot. It was then that I and several others had to prepare this man for the morgue. We were all new to the experience of dealing with death and the tension was palpable. It was at that moment I decided to try to "lighten" the moment. Seeing as the man was a double amputee(legs) due to his diabetes I remarked, "Where are we going to put the Toe Tag"? Unfortunately that little joke did not go down to well. Never to be put off by a simple failure I tried again shortly after. We were in the midst of moving the body from the bed to a guerney when all of a sudden there was a raspy growl from the body. The nursing assistant then yelped and dropped him back on the table. At that moment I remarked, "He's Alive". After a collective groan I realized my future as a stand up comic would not become a reality.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Fight................does it ever end?

The blows rained down on me, but unlike raindrops they stung. The only moisture I could feel were the teardrops that flowed down my cheeks. "Please, stop! I dont want it anymore". There was a pause, a brief reprieve. Just as I was beginning to feel relief, the words that echo in my ears came out. "You Fucking Faker". SMACK!

Certain moments in our lives shape us. They leave indelible imprints that forever cast a shadow over us. In the previous post I touched on how our habits affect us. Though I no longer physically fight I seem to be drawn to combat of other sorts. Certain verbiage pushes buttons that I did not know still existed. Though I have worked hard at tearing down the walls it is obvious that some are still standing. I see and hear things that many cannot understand. Once in a while a run across a fellow traveller who understands me. I see it in their eyes or hear it in their words, The fighter.............

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

First we make our habits............Then our habits make us.

Who are we? It seems we are the sum total of what we do. Sure we may have genetic predispositions to certain behaviours, but does that mean this is who we are. The more I see myself, the more I see that I am what I do. I mean that the things I consistently act on seem to create the person that I am. Throughout my life I have attempted to modify or correct negative behaviours or on the other hand continue with the positive behaviours. Yet, even with this awareness I now realize I only succeed in positive change when I make it a habit. I think I need more practice in certain areas. Today I will be more proactive with certain habits. How about you?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Damn those immigrants!

The other day the wife decided to go for a pedicure. We have a small place in a mall close to our place of business. It is run by a local Vietnamese family. As my wife was sitting waiting for her pampering she overheard the mother(owner) of the business talking with her daughter. It turns out the daughter had taken a leave of absence from her job(Lawyer) to help her mom run the family business. So over the course of the next 30 to 40 min my wife had an enlightening conversation with a fellow business owner. It went something like this.

Wife: So how's business?

Owner: No good. People no like work!

Wife: Are you having staffing problems? I know we certainly are.

Owner: Yes, too many lazy and greedy. English, white canadian women no like work hard. Sorry lady, no mean you.

Wife: Thats ok, Im French Canadian.

Owner: Yes, you work better.

Wife: So do you find this kind of behaviour with all employees?

Owner: No, mostly White Canadian women. But American white women worse!

Owner: Lady, you look too good. You shouldnt dress nice like that. Your employee's will think you rich and want more money for less work.

Wife: Thanks for the advice.

After that little discussion the wife was at least happy that she looks good. Even though we're not rich.

Damn those immigrants and their family values and work ethic, they are giving us a Bad name.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me!

Just had a great Birthday with my wife. She actually golfed with me and lost the bet. Hmmmm, now the challenge is to wake her up and collect on it(very difficult when you have french wifey who likes her sleep). So I guess I will just drink and sing to myself. Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeee, happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeee, happy birthday you old, happy birthday to meeeeeeeeee. 

Freedom! Dont touch my free...Oops I mean Limited Choice.

Have you ever noticed how many people in the West think they have freedom? The fact is, what we do have is limited choice. Now, I do realize our choices are much greater than most nations in the world, but all the same they are still limited. If we dont like what our leaders are doing, we, in theory have the opportunity to vote them out. It is here that our idea's on freedom get a little murky. The determining factor in our society in regards to freedom of choice is something called the "all mighty dollar". Whoever has more of these definately has more freedom to choose. There was a time when being the biggest and baddest on the block gave  you the right to the most freedom, but now it is all pretty much based on whoever has the most bucks. Democracy is a misnomer for our society. Capitalism and Consumerism are the driving forces. Any attempt to change our political situations is immediately met by the stark reality that finances determine who gets the most airplay and opportunity to share their values with the average voting individual. It doesnt matter what your party affiliation is. If they have the most dollars they have the bigger chunk of freedom of choice. In order for a party to have a large bank account they obviously have to have people with deep pockets to help fund their campaigns. Do you ever wonder how those lovely altruistic people or companies get paid? They get more FREEDOM. Freedom to choose how and when their lovely ideas get put into play. In Canada(and the USA) the majority of the population did not want to go to war in Afghanistan or Iraq. Was this ever put to a vote in our democratic nations? Nope! I wonder who then wanted this to happen? Could it be the people who have more freedom of choice and more financial gain determined this outcome? Since the recent economic downturn who has been given more freedom. It sure as shit isnt the less fortunate! Pretty much all the bailout money has seeped into the pockets of the most fortunate. Now how's that for freedom? Harper, Obama, Bush, Clinton, Trudeau, and all the other leaders of our great nations have one thing in common. They have the most Freedom to do as they please because someone behind them has the most bucks. Have a nice limited choice day and dont forget to pay your Taxes, someone needs more Freedom.

Friday, July 9, 2010

SHOW ME THE MONEY...........shhhh, Dont tell me where it comes from

11 million illegal immigrants in the good old USA. Damn thats a lot of crooks. Well, in all fairness lets say only 60% of them actually work for the syndicate.  I guess the other 40% have a good old fashion "legal" job. You know, the one that gives you a weekly salary doing the shit work that the average joe american doesnt want to do. So, you have to love the constant bellowing, I earn my own money, I work hard, I am a self made person. I wonder though, all those people who have made millions and invested their money to make more, have they ever invested in a company that employs the "criminal element" of their society? Honestly, does anyone truly know how and where each company derives its profit from? How many times do we we get fruit from our local farmer and assume that he/she only hires citizens? Do we actually know for a fact that any of the products  produced are guaranteed to come from citizens and not illegal immigrants? The bigger question is, do want to know? Its easy to sit in Ivory towers and preach down on the "others". The cars we drive, the video's we watch, ice cream, toilets cleaned. How many of these are done by the undesirables? Does anyone have the answer? Im sure I could name a couple. ;)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Conservatives like their Titties...........

I actually like these  fellow bloggers for we have much in common. ;)

A couple of blogging acquaintances or friends(hopefully) have made me aware of how important it is for some people to have a label to describe themselves. These wonderful people, Gucci and Sage like themselves to be known as Conservatives. Now, I can probably agree with them on some of their political views how they might be able to see themselves in such a light but I am a little mystified when it comes to some of their actual behaviours. You see outside of their politics they sure do seem pretty liberal as evidenced by these Interesting and Conservative posts. Well, I wonder what Real Republicans like good ole Ronald and Nancy would think of this behaviour, seems to me Conservative wouldnt be the first word to come to mind.
One thing I have come to realize in my few short years is that Labels don't do us Justice. We are so richly layered with beliefs and behaviours, that trying to encapsulate it with words such as Democrat, Liberal, Conservative or Republican seem to fail miserably. It seems my new friends think of me as a Liberal and in some ways my behaviours reflect that but deep down inside I guess Im just a small "c" conservative. Afterall, I sure do like some Titties.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Really, Its a Man's World.......Yeah, right!

Do you remember those special days, those days when all you could do was try to get your mom's attention. "Look Mommy, I built a sand castle just for you." or maybe it was as simple as riding your bike. "Hey Mommy, Im a big boy now, I can ride my bike without any help".
As we slowly aged things started to change. No longer did we only try to please Mom, we now had a different female to attract. We started working out to make ourselves more manly. We took better care of ourselves, paid more attention to our hygiene. Geez, we even started to comb our hair. Next thing you knew we were even attempting to woo that special someone. Poetry, nice music, we tried everything to make ourselves look special. It wasnt long after that we knew it would take something more to seal the deal. We needed to get a job to get the special car that could transport that special someone to all the cool places we dreamed about. It was hard work, but damn, she was worth it. The plan seemed to work but the older we got the more discerning she became. Education, Job advancement, home hunting, the list goes on. If it was up to us, beer and crackers and the hammock would be fine. Nope, you had to become a connoisseur of wine and a creative dinner planner. Intrique, seduction, LOVE making. Oh my God what ever happened to us men? One thing I tell you, WOMAN.

So tell me, Really, who's World is It?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My name is John and Im a Gasoholic

I never realized it would get this far. Sure my first experience was fun, driving around in our new car was great. But I always went back to my bike, it kept me in great shape. Riding around until the evening without a care in the world. The air was fresh and my lungs breathed it in fully. Who knew what the future would hold. I guess the first time I was aware of its pull was when I reached 16. I was now able to drive on my own and I was acutely aware of how it made me feel. I was becoming a man, the chicks were going to love me. I would be able to take them places I could never have done before. My self esteem was soaring higher with each drive. Little did I know though, I was becoming an Addict and my addiction was Gasoline. Not only am I poisoning myself but I am making everyone else around me sick too. It is so subtle, most people I know would say Im fine and I dont have a problem. But the only word that comes to my mind when they say this is "Codependent". You see it seems were all in this together yet none of us are willing to look at our "little" problem. Sure the birds and water creatures may have an issue, but were ok, right? Our "save a tree" bumper stickers fill us with pride. Even our recycling makes us puff our chests out. But is anyone really willing to give up their car? I doubt it! Maybe its time for Step 1.

Step 1

We admitted we were powerless over GASOLINE- that our lives have become unmanageable.

Hi, My name is John and Im a Gasoholic.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I married a Model..............Really, I did! :)

Ok, I know, this is a pretty juvenile post. But I know most of us guys(at least the ones who are willing to admit it) remember bragging about one day marrying a model. Well as of last weekend it became a literal truth. My wife was walking in a local mall when after leaving a clothing store she was approached in the corridor by the manager. At first she wondered if she accidentally took some clothing without paying. It turns out the manager had an unusual request. They were having a fashion show that weekend and the woman wondered if my wife would be willing to partake in it as one of their clothing models. At first she felt a little shy, but being the trooper that she is she decided to give it a try. She did a fabulous job! Unfortunately I dont have pictures of the actual event, but I do have some taken from a professional photographer last May in the Dominican Republic.

So without further ado here's my Model Wifeee.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Ultimate Feminist!

No burning the bra's. No complaining about equal rights. Widowed at 30yrs old, left to manage 3 kids, ages 20months, 4yrs, 7yrs. Returned to school and received a Masters Degree after 8yrs of sacrifice and dedication. The primary care giver and educator and financial provider. My MOMMY, the Ultimate Feminist.


Saturday, April 3, 2010

Will Jesus Christ save my sorry Ass?

I think the question that every Christian first needs to answer is this.

Do you believe that a talking snake convinced a woman to deceive her mate into eating an apple? And because of this the rest of the world are shitheads for all of eternity(which is a pretty long time).

Take your time before you answer.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Taking a Break.

Thanks to all who have shared with me on this blog. I am taking a break. I will continue reading all of your blogs and I might even comment occasionally. Au Revoir.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

WOO......Why it may work and why science cant prove it.

I have been blogging for about 3 yrs now and have listened to many people talking about health care. In many instances there is a side that is very much againsnt what they called "Woo" or "alternative" therapies. By this, they mean many of the touch based therapies such as, Acupuncture, Reiki, Therapeutic touch, Chiropractic and also my profession, Massage Therapy. It seems that unless science conclusively backs up certain treatments then many of these individuals want nothing to do with it. If there is some anecdotal evidence showing some success they many times pass that off as just a "placebo". I wonder though, whats the difference if your pain relieved by placebo or a drug? Also isnt it common that many of the drugs only work for some people and not all? Why is it that someone would feel more certain of a therapist using ultrasound for a muscle strain when many times physical touch has the same benefit. I believe this belief system actually has hurt much of our health care system and is in dire need of an overhaul.
I am going to point out that there are many things that science(to this point) is unable to accurately measure. So because of this I believe that many of these so called "Woo" therapies are actually beneficial and vital to our health.
When assessing these touch based therapies is it possible to account for many of the emotional factors that come into play when being treated?


If any or all of these emotions are not outwardly apparent to the patient, wouldnt it stand to reason that they may be hesistant or resistant to the therapists performing their treatment? And if so, wouldnt that factor in to the quantifiable results of the treatment? How from a science perspective do we measure these powerful forces? It is similar to friendship. Why are some people our friends and others are not? How do you scientifically measure it? So, is it more likely that a therapist that is trusted and liked more capable of getting better results than one that isnt?
There is another area I believe to be beyond science(at this moment), and that is the calibre of treatment being performed. There are multiple reasons why this may be the case when a therapy is being applied.

Body Type
Technical Skill

A major factor that plays into my profession is the skill of the therapist and the response of the patient. What I mean by this is that many patients that I see dont respond to my techniques but do respond to another therapist. Does that mean I am not a good therapist? Of course not, it just means I am not the "right" therapist for those individuals. Now I ask you this, how would we be able to measure this scientifically and have it relatable to the therapy rather than the therapist? It has been very apparent to me in my profession that certain individuals respond to certain techniques. There are so many factors that play into this that I wonder if it is even remotely possible(at this time) to scientically measure it.
If I go see any of these so called "Woo" therapies with pain and I leave feeling better and my life returns to a relatively normal existence, I dont really care whether science says that is "real" or a "placebo". All I know is that Im pain free. Im sure there are millions of people who would agree.
For all those that dont, I suggest you get a Massage and Chill out(science agrees with that one).

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Rules, Play by the Rules!

This post was inspired by my fellow blogger Sabio Lantz at this post. Here is a small exerpt.

" I laugh at my mind constantly. She (my mind) is so silly, so primitive, so deluded, so stubborn, so dull. I mean, how many times have I told her something is not true or not so and yet she keeps coming back with the same perceptions and conclusions. She is totally unruly."

What game do you play?

I find it interesting that when we come to blog with others we forget what game they are playing and by what rules they play. We then attempt to insert our rules into their game. This is true for most of us, be it Atheist, Theist, Deist or what have you. Sometimes its like  a football player coming to a baseball game. The collisions may be fun to watch but they have little to do with the actual game being played. I wonder, if there is not a consensus on the game and the rules, is it actually possible to enjoy playing?

In any game are the rules absolute?

The rallying cry of the absolutist. "Its not fair, youre not playing by the rules". Is it possible for anything to be absolute? Regardless of what game we play or subject we study there is always something we let slide by. Using football as an example again, there are many times that players hold other players(which is against the rules). Now because it may not have been blatant the referee will overlook it and allow them to continue to play. When involved in our blogging discussions many times we overlook the rules of engagement. Scientists demean Creationists because science doesnt back their story. The problem with this is many Creationists are not playing by those rules. The flip side to this scenario is blatantly obvious too. Faith isnt part of the rules for Scientists. Is it any wonder that they have a hard time playing together? Different games with different rules.

Is cheating or stretching the rules bad?

Interestingly enough, even within a certain domain(game) the rules very often get stretched a bit. This is very evident when looking at multiple versions of the same Theistic doctrine. Seems there are many ways to play a similar game. Funny thing is, Science isnt immune to this way of thinking either. Many times things dont react(scientifically) exactly the way the scientists first thought. So like any good gamer they adapt to the situation and add or subtract some "Rules". I guess we could consider that Evolution.

Evolution or Adaptation

When looking at each others belief system it may be prudent to realize that they cant be absolute. Because just as we are evolving, so are our beliefs. There only seems to be one absolute to life and that is it does not remain static, it is always in flux.

So  the next time you feel your mind to be a little "unruly", just remember she may not be playing the same game you are.