Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Daddy, what is "dirty sex"?
And here we have it, my introduction into sex education with my daughter. I have been having discussions with my daughter on sexuality and I recently noticed she was a little uncomfortable with me asking the questions, so I invited her to ask me instead. So she then proceeds to go, "Dad, um, ah, well ok I'll just ask...."What is dirty sex?". Im thinking "oh my god, what did you say". I try to keep a straight face, my first thought being, "Have you been talking to Denise" lol. So I bet youre all wondering how I can make this discussion about religion? Well first off, after I recovered from the shock of the question, I had to ask myself where the idea of "dirty sex" came from. I realized that its origins are from religion. Firstly the idea that sex outside of marriage was deemed "sinful" or "evil". It then morphed into certain sexual acts as being "sinful" or dirty. Now obviously there are some sexual acts that are debasing or "dirty" so to speak, but in the context of a loving relationship why do we still use the phrase "dirty sex" when describing our sex life? It is not only the religious who use this phrase, I hear it from just as many secular people as well. The great thing about my daughters question is that it naturally evolved into discussing such things as Trust, Commitment, Love, Safety and many other issues that help us to have healthy relationships that involve sexuality. I hope for my daughter that she has all options available to her, including abstinence. All are tools that can help her navigate the world of sexuality and relationships. I will remind you though, when talking with your children be prepared for what they may ask. "Out of the mouth of babes"