EAT, DRINK and be MERRY

MERRY CHRISTMAS

For all my Christian Theist blogger pals.

HAPPY HOLY DAYS

For all my other religionist blogger pals.

And for all you heathen, without morals or ethics Atheist blogger pals.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Dont get too drunk. :)

2 Ears, One mouth, Im starting to get it.

Im out for dinner with my beautiful wife, you know the one with the great smile, beautiful lips and eyes and awesome wit......Oops I digress. So we're having a wonderful time and our server is excellent. We end up having a good conversation with him about what we do for a living, which then gets into a discussion about his schooling and why he is taking the courses that he is enrolled in. He shares some personal information about his obesity as a youth and how he now would like to help others overcome similar challenges. He is now in excellent shape. At the end of our dinner(and a couple of drinks), we end up talking a little more about our ideas on health and wellness. It was at this moment that I made a remark about a therapist I was seeing and how I had a hard time listening to them because of their morbid obesity. I articulated that I felt because of their obesity they would not be of benefit to me. Instantly the server's demeanour changed. I totally missed why that would be and continued to talk. My wife remarked about it after we left and I realized that I was too busy talking about my thing, that I missed the fact that I hurt someone in this exchange. Had my 2 ears been open earlier I would have known better than to engage in a conversation about obesity and my negative view on it. This experience has made me realize that I need to be more aware of what people say and not how I say things. Humbling for sure.


Thanks to Luke and Jay for there shout outs on Community and accountability.

Ignorance is Bliss. ;)

Am I ignorant because I believe, or do I believe because of my ignorance? The way I see it, I have 2 choices. I can choose to believe that this Universe that I see, with all its beauty and despair and overall awesomeness, is either:

1. A random fortuitous happening.

OR

2. A creation with purpose and intelligence.

Now because of my ignorance I cannot know for sure which of these 2 options is true. So with my limited perspective I have decided to postulate an idea. I believe we were created with a purpose. This does not mean that I disregard all the benefits that science has in showing the inner workings of this Universe. Au Contraire, I actually believe that our scientists will one day prove my theory to be correct. To have a position that goes against mine does not automatically mean it is correct either. It is just that, an opinion. For thousands of years we have postulated, formulated and corrected many theories. I suspect this to be part of our human condition. Who knows, maybe its part of our Evolutionary process. So here I am, somewhat blissful in my ignorance, how about you!

DENIAL: Isnt that a river in Egypt?

Human nature, the need to be in the know. We all seem to gravitate to a belief system that purports to "know" what is going on. Black or white, true or false, wrong or right. Each of us choose a system that works for us. Yet isnt it true that we are all somewhat in the dark on matters? Even when we come to certain conclusions about life havn't we all found later on that it wasnt quite what we assumed it was. This is very common in religious/spiritual ideas, but it is also very common in science too. Many times the new formula replaces the old. It seems, for the most part, that nothing is absolute. I wonder then, wouldnt it be better to try and take from each others belief systems the parts that work and try to implement them into our own existence? I own this way of thinking also and am starting to feel fatigued by the conversations that lead me to think I know better than the next person. Anybody out there have any ideas on how we can all change that behaviour? Atheist, agnostics, Theist, Deists, Realists, Nihilists. We all seem to belong to one of these families. Do you think it possible for us all to belong to the human family?


"They had a meeting for functional families and only 2 showed up. They were both in DENIAL"
;)

Reality and Scientific Proof

So lil Titfortat and lil Luke are playing in the sandlot when all of a sudden Luke steals Tat's shovel. "Jesus Christ Luke, gimme back my shovel". Smack, Luke punches Tat in the arm. "Dont take the Lords name in vain". "Owwwww that really hurt" Tat says as he rubs his arm.
Have you ever noticed how whenever we seem to get hurt we instinctively/intuitively know to rub it to help make the pain go away? It wasnt until recent years that Science has shown the mechanisms behind why this is a fact. My question is, did it take science to make that Truth real? And how many other intuitions or instincts are real but as of yet dont have the Science to verify them. Hmmmmmmmmm.

Saying "Goodbye" to Religion

I have noticed many Atheists are actually prior Theists. The irony of saying "goodbye" to their former faith is that the term "goodbye" is actually a contraction of "God be with you". Some things you read, really do make you smile.

:)

Blowing Smoke

Well, I've been at it again. TitforTat with a Christian in regards to religion. Afterwards I had an epiphany. Religion is an awful lot like Smoking. You know that pastime don't ya. Granted about 20% of us knew better and never touched the stuff, but the rest of us tried it out at one point or another. Though we knew it had a poisonous element to it, the social aspect was all too inviting. The first time trying it may have had you choking a little bit, but surprisingly it also had quite the euphoric effect. Very confusing for sure, on one hand toxic and on the other, nurturing. Well for many of us it didnt take long to notice how partaking in it started to affect our health and the health of the ones around us. It was probably this awareness that allowed us to make the break and stop the nasty habit. Unfortunately there is a core percentage of individuals who continue to breath it in. These individuals believe it is their right to do as they please regardless of the noxious fumes it emits to the rest of the population. They are so deeply entrenched in their addiction that they cant see how even a little bit of it damages them and the rest of the population. They have developed communities of like minded people. They gather together in the cold, at parties and even praise it after sex. Im not sure if you can ever cure them of it, as they have invested too much time and would be unwilling to make the change. Even given insurmountable evidence they continue to deny and think that its ok. The best we can do is make it public policy to ensure that the activity is not partaken of in public. Leave it to the private institutions, if they wish to engage in this harmful behaviour, then so be it. I gained this insight after breathing in the Holy Smoke, Oops I mean spirit. Time to have them Butt out of our public lives.

The clockmaker may not exist, but prayer can still help us Tick.

Now let's get one thing straight. I am not suggesting that you can pray to some unknown deity and have a limb replaced or a dead person resuscitated, but does that mean there is no benefit to prayer? I would say not. There are several ways in which prayer can directly and indirectly help. Afterall the primary reason it can be effective comes directly from a faith perspective.

Hebrews 11

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."

For many Christians and I would imagine people of other faiths, prayer is exactly this. They are convicted and truly believe that their words will be heard. And it is in this belief that the wonders can some times happen. We many times see this effect when someone takes a placebo drug. They truly believe that it will be affective and for some reason this helps alter their body chemistry which in turn leads to some types of healing. Science hasnt quite figured out why or how this happens but that shouldnt negate its potential benefit. So I bet you are asking, how can prayer be effective from person to person? Well, again this is based on their faith. If someone truly believes that their G-d will heal them, then obviously the more people that pray for them, the more comforted they become and the potential for them to access their own healing system becomes enhanced. Add to that when being prayed for directly, many times the prayor will lay their hands on the prayed for. The reason for the sometimes benefit is two fold here.

1. Touch affects our central nervous system, releasing feel good and pain relief hormones.(We see this with premature babies, the ones that are touched grow 40% faster)

2. The emotional connection to others who care for you also has a powerful effect. It definately makes you feel loved and cared for, which in turn can lead to healing.

The point of all this is, many Prayers are not only physically beneficial, they are emotionally beneficial as well. So for all you G-dless athiests ;), the next time some one says they would like to pray for you, give it a whirl(regardless if you have faith), you may enjoy the laying on of hands. And here in North America, couldn't we all use a little more touch and caring that doesnt have anything to do with sex.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock.

Heaven is an Amusement Park

How could I have been so blind? All these years discussing, thinking and subconsciously waiting for heaven to pop up, little did I know that it is located just north of Toronto, Canada on highway 400. Here we all were, waiting for the joy to begin. Black, white, red, yellow and brown. Young and old, male and female. All faiths gathered together for one thing. FUN, pure unadulterated JOY. Sure there were moments of Nausea, but fortunately the man with the "Jesus will save you tattoo" had some pepto bismol. Also, I could see the fear in the eyes of the Muslim woman covered by her niqab just before we started down the Vortex. I calmly reassured her everthing would be fine and to just be brave for a moment. The next time our eyes met she had tears of joy in them. Her thankful glance warmed my heart. Cousins sat with their nieces and nephews who were afraid, while mom and dad relived their youth on the Behemoth. Even more unbelievable was when the white supremacist had to ride with the black man because his buddies filled the seats and left him odd man out. At the end of that ride they were both hollering and laughing about how great the ride was. Seems in the midst of Joy we forget how to hate. Drop your hat, someone picks it up for you. Lose your balance and there were many to lend you an arm. Laughter and joy were everywhere. And while some cried, there were words of support from others. Sometimes in the midst of our search we fail to see what is directly in front of us.
I guess the Magic Man Jesus nailed it when he said this.

Luke 17:21 (English Standard Version)

nor will they say, 'Look, here it is!' or 'There!' for behold, the kingdom of God is in the midst of you."

Indoctrination.......Practice makes perfect, no perfect practice makes perfect.

Years ago while watching a martial artist perform I remarked to my sensei how good he was at his kicks. Sensei then states, " No he's not, just watch him carefully". "Ah you are right, he telegraphs his kicks". Sensei then says, "Yes and he's perfect at it". The point he was trying to make is that we can even practice mistakes and get very good at them.
As human beings we all seem to have our own views or perceptions about the world and how it functions. Most of us developed these while we were younger and very impressionable. They typically were given to us by the people closest to us, and unfortunately many of these views have had negative outcomes in our lives. Body image, self esteem, spiritual beliefs, trust, the list goes on. In a sense we were indoctrinated into someone else's perception of the world. I know for myself I learned very early that the world was combative. You had to be tough, fight for yourself, and make sure no one saw your weakness. Unfortunately for years I practiced that belief system and became good at it. It has been a long process of re-training myself but I have slowly become better at another view of the world. One that is more loving, more supportive and friendly. I still hope to one day perfect that belief.

Im curious fellow bloggers, what are you good at?

Boys will be Boys.............

What does our world say to us. I know as I look at my daughters world she will have to deal with ideas that pertain to whether she is Pretty enough, thin enough, sexy enough. How she navigates this world will ultimately come from her. I hope that I can help with that. Now what does our world say to me and my fellow males? Are you tough enough, big enough, strong enough? The questions and the pressures are no less than our female counterparts, but they are extremely different. I dont remember when I realized that I was being judged by my fellow males about who I was and who I was to be. Early on I saw that there was a pecking order of sorts. If you were bigger and stronger you were the first to be picked for the team. But if you were smaller and weaker you waited, hoping you werent the last to be chosen. Though all may not have experienced the same lesson the feeling is exactly the same. Do you measure up. Because we are more physical by nature(though there are exceptions), early on Boys test other boys. They grapple, poke, prod, tease.......they are attempting to figure out who is the Alpha male. Though we may not all partake in this game, we all do know what is at stake. What is it that makes us play, but more importantly, what is it that takes some to the outer edge ?

Sticks and Stones..................

Part One


"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me."

We all remember this little diddly. Isnt it interesting how wrong it is. Violence is so much more than physicality. Some of the worst violence we know is the type that tore a strip off our spirit. The words of a loved one or rival that hit at our most sensitive part did much more damage than any punch could ever do. I am going to post a series over the next little while on Violence. I am going to try and explore and explain how it has shaped me and my worldview, both for the good and for the bad. I would love to hear from others on their experiences.

HELP, what are the rules?

So I have been blogging for about a year now and I am wondering are there any rules to abide by? I mean if I get on a blog and someone posts a post, is it fair game to respond to it. Also is it fair game to respond to the responses of that post? Are public posts sometimes private? Should I refrain from leaving a response to a comment about a post in case I may offend the responder to that post? I mean there seems to be so many variables that I'm wondering if someone has the answer. I sometimes feel that I have stepped over some imaginary line and I cant step back. Help me, I've fallen and I cant get up. PLEASE oh Great moderator of the Blogging World, Give me the TRUTH!!!!!

Im Certain of my Uncertainty.

Grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.


I accept the fact that I cant know it all. I wish I could. Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? Who/what created me? These questions seem to invade my thoughts on more than one occasion and not only that but I seem to be attracted to people who think they know the answers. Christians, Atheists, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, it seems there are many people in the know. How do they do it? How do they keep a straight face when saying that "their" belief is the right way? I wonder why so many of us need to know for certain and are not comfortable enough with the mystery that life is. Here's a prayer for all from my daughter and I.

We will win,
Why, we'll tell you why.
Because we have faith, courage and enthusiasm.
G-d, thank you for this day,
bless our mothers and fathers
and help us have another wonderful day tomorrow.
Amen.

We are off! (Almost)

Great idea!! I think me and the wife will follow Doug and his wife. Rawk, we'll see you in a week.

That really is a F.....g Bear!!

This post was inspired by my blogging friend Yael. She was reminiscing about things she had done in her life and I decided to share this amusing story. During my teenage years I was heavily involved in wrestling. At one point I was actually pretty good. Mind you in this instance it was obvious that my Testosterone far outweighed my talent. Passing through town one weekend was a small "Wrestling troupe", kind of like a tiny version of WWE. Also included with the so called "real" wrestlers, they had a "wrestling bear" and if anyone out there was brave(stupid) enough they could come up and challenge it. Well this is where I decided that I could take on the bear. I was 15 and chalk full of Bravado and minus a few brain cells. Reminds me of the joke, "Instant Idiot, just add testosterone." So before my rational brain could kick in, I jumped into the ring. There was a hardy round of applause. I guess everyone but me knew what was about to happen. The trainer in the ring informed me about no punching or kicking. Of course I knew that, I was an Olympic wrestler, just the suggestion was offensive. He then proceeded to tell me what the bear could(would) do to me. I was undaunted, afterall I was undefeated up to that point of the year. Well, here I was standing 15 feet away from a real live bear, though it was muzzled and declawed it was quite an imposing figure. My first thought was, "Oh my G-d, thats a fu..... Bear. So here I wade into battle, the bear reaches out with its paw to grab me and Wham it strikes me in the nose. Just as quickly as I realize Im bleeding the freaking thing now has me by the neck and is pulling me quickly to the ground. In my delusional mind I believe I can stop it but I fail to consider that it outweighs me by 300 pounds and quickly I am face down and pinned. The trainer comes over and then gets the beast off of me. Ah the joy of youth. Makes for some lasting impressions to say the least.

We're in Traffic

So I have been having many discussions with my 12yr old daughter lately and I marvel at how much she has grown. I did get a little wistful of those younger years that seem to pass us by so quickly. I thought I would share this humorous story.

My daughter and I were in the car a while back having a discussion on G-d and the idea of heaven. I remarked that I believe we can create both a heaven and hell on earth and that its not some far away place. I remarked that I thought we were in heaven today. We slowly started coming to a stop because of the backup of traffic. It was at that moment that my daughter said, "No daddy, were not in heaven, we're in Traffic!!" Have a nice day.

Daddy, what is "dirty sex"?

And here we have it, my introduction into sex education with my daughter. I have been having discussions with my daughter on sexuality and I recently noticed she was a little uncomfortable with me asking the questions, so I invited her to ask me instead. So she then proceeds to go, "Dad, um, ah, well ok I'll just ask...."What is dirty sex?". Im thinking "oh my god, what did you say". I try to keep a straight face, my first thought being, "Have you been talking to Denise" lol. So I bet youre all wondering how I can make this discussion about religion? Well first off, after I recovered from the shock of the question, I had to ask myself where the idea of "dirty sex" came from. I realized that its origins are from religion. Firstly the idea that sex outside of marriage was deemed "sinful" or "evil". It then morphed into certain sexual acts as being "sinful" or dirty. Now obviously there are some sexual acts that are debasing or "dirty" so to speak, but in the context of a loving relationship why do we still use the phrase "dirty sex" when describing our sex life? It is not only the religious who use this phrase, I hear it from just as many secular people as well. The great thing about my daughters question is that it naturally evolved into discussing such things as Trust, Commitment, Love, Safety and many other issues that help us to have healthy relationships that involve sexuality. I hope for my daughter that she has all options available to her, including abstinence. All are tools that can help her navigate the world of sexuality and relationships. I will remind you though, when talking with your children be prepared for what they may ask. "Out of the mouth of babes"

Which way do you swing?

I recently have been having some interesting discussions on Homosexuality and Sin as viewed from the Christian perspective on Nakedpastor.com It got me thinking about how we used to view people who are left handed. Now back in the day of my parents and before, it was viewed in a negative light. It seems much of this viewpoint was taken because of Biblical material. It seems that many positive references are given to right handed people, e.g. "The right hand of the lord doeth valiantly, the right hand of the lord is exalted" (Psalm 118 vv15,16). Also the left is commonly held with disdain as noted by this, "The left hand does worst in the parable of the sheep and goats. The sheep are set on Christ's right hand and the goats on the left. Those on the right inherit the kingdom of god while those on the left depart into everlasting fire". For years the Nuns tried to "correct" people who were left handed because of the misguided belief that there was something wrong with them. Now fortunately we have grown in our understanding of the brain and how genetic predispositions work. Unfortunately it doesnt seem to hold true for some Christians in regards to Homosexuality. They still hold firm to the idea that it is a "Sin" to be gay and that it is some kind of character flaw. They seem to disregard the evidence that is pointing to the genetic markings of gay people. A gay person is no different than a heterosexual individual other than their brain has them attracted to the same sex. I wonder if it is a wiring, like that of a "Left" handed individual. If so, how can that be considered bad? I hope for the day when people can view other individuals like a Baseball coach/manager would view rookies at spring training.

Rookie: "I bat right"
Coach: "Very good Son"

Rookie: "I bat left"
Coach: "You will have a unique role on this team."

Rookie: "Im a switch hitter."
Coach: "Oh my God, you are Divine."

Bloody Cross, Bloody mess: Making sense of the senseless

Have you ever had the feeling that everything is going to work out just fine? You know, the sense that in the midst of your pain it will all come together for good. I know that sense, that feeling. It doesnt happen very often but when it does it just feels, well, for lack of a better word, Divine. I get this sense that this is exactly what the Jesus story is about. More than being a story of bloody sacrifice it is a story of "knowing" that everything will work out fine. The story doesnt deny pain or try to gloss over the struggle. What it does do for me is acknowledge that in the midst of this pain we can be different. We can rise above our pettiness, hurts, anger and resentments. The story shows a man who has almost complete confidence in the fact that in the grand scheme of things, he's OK. He is willing to show us by example how to live our lives and then with the ultimate conviction he is willing to die for it. He has figured out that there is an eternal life, that there is more than what we can see or touch. Now remember there are some moments when the doubt creeps in, afterall he is human like you or I. Yet in his awareness of safety he is able to rise above those doubts and show us another way. In the story we see someone care for others, love his enemies, take part in our struggles. And while doing all of this not allowing himself to partake in the nastiness that this life can also offer. I see so often in this world, people who are committed to seeing life from its painful parts, in the Jesus story I see one who decided to see the good parts and acknowledge that we do have life abundantly even when our bodies die.

Coexist: Does the moderate voice fan the flames of the extremist mind?

Islam and Christianity, the two main religions of the world. At the heart of both there is no idea of Coexistence. In fact both are pretty explicit in that, both the believers and non-believers will be divided. Now I know the moderate voices from both try their best to Coexist, but are they being honest with themselves? It may be the extremist who speaks loudest in regards to division. We all know the words, "saved, damned, heathen, infidel" and it is painfully obvious that it is a "Us vs Them" mentality. Yet it seems the moderate voice does not acknowledge the roots of their religious faith. In fact by avoiding the obvious nature of division of what they believe, do they not fuel the flames of the extremist mind? I will acknowledge that the more liberal voices can be heard espousing love and community, but while this is happening the extremist is spewing hatred and division. The interesting thing is, they both garner their views from the same book(Bible/Koran), depending on the faith. I think it needs to be asked, "If your core is the same, is the message of Coexistence possible?" It seems the house is burning yet no one is willing to stand up and yell "FIRE"

Tithe or Tip....What would Jesus do?

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day here in Ottawa. My awesome wife and I decided to go for a walk in the market. We stopped by a favourite pub of ours to have a pint and do some people watching. We had the pleasure of being served by a wonderful hostess named Angela. Before she returned with our drinks we talked about how friendly she was and how it seemed that this person had a pretty hard life. We all talked when she got back and found out she was 27yrs old with 11 and 6yr old boys. There was no mention of a father and we got the impression she was going at it alone. She was joyous with all people who came in. A treat for sure. We decided to give this women a great tip for the goodness she shared with us. This led the wife and I into a discussion on Tithing and Jesus. We thought that Jesus was a man of the people. He would frequent market places, share his heart with others and give all that he could to make his immediate world better. His humanity was evidenced not by being in a Church and giving his Tithe. It could be seen by the very fact that he was a man of the people and for the people. When Christians sit in a pew and listen to someone preach on how G-d expects them to give 10% of there salary, does anyone actually get to see where most of that money goes? Over 80% of it is used to take care of the expenses of the Church. Heating, hydro, salaries, maintenance. The bulk of the money is used to finance a structure. Now who is this for? Are the people who are starving or just making ends meet getting the bulk of this money. NO WAY. The wife and I were given an opportunity this day to see how our sharing can actually make someone elses world a better place. Sure we didnt get the band and singers, we didnt get an inspirational story from a preacher, we didnt get to hear how G-d will bless us with abundance. What we did get, was our hearts warmed and our spirits lifted knowing we shared something with a fellow human.

I think Jesus would have been a BIG TIPPER.

The Sins of the Fathers(Generational Crap)

A famous Greek had a quote that was borrowed from the Old Testament that I believe has a profound truth in it. Though it may not have been written with this idea initially.

"The gods visit the sins of the fathers upon the children."
Euripides, Phrixus
Greek tragic dramatist (484 BC - 406 BC)


Now we all are aware that passed down from generation to generation is the genetic makeup of our families. Blue/Brown eyes, Blond/Red hair, Tall/short etc. But more importantly, passed down, is the emotional baggage that we as humans fail to deal with. These lingering hurts, resentments, and remorse are the "Sins" that end up haunting our children. Now it is true that we cannot shield our children from all the pains in life, but we do have a huge impact on what we give them. Im sure that we have all had that "Eureka" moment while watching or listening to our children do something and realize exactly where it comes from. Not only is it their behaviours or postures, but many times it is exactly the fears and pains that we have not come to grips with. Failure to deal with our own pain guarantees that our children will experience not only their own traumas, but ours as well. If we truly want the best for our children then doesnt that automatically mean we need to do the best for ourselves? So does it not behoove us to deal with our own "baggage" first and then help our children with theirs? My challenge to all of us is this. Break the chain, BE WELL.

How long is TOO long?

Well it seems the days are getting longer and as we all know spring and summer are just around the corner. Now for most of us that just means the weather gets nicer, the air is warmer, flowers are in bloom, the sun is shining and everything is just more colourful. But there is a dilemma that faces every man come springtime, and that would be the new clothing or lack there of worn by most women. You see, men seem to be more hardwired to the visual than women do. So every year I approach spring and summer with both excitement and trepidation. I know without a doubt I will be presented with some very stunning visual disturbances along my otherwise peaceful day. Now let me get one thing straight. My wife is a damn fine looking woman, and I am very much in love(lust) with her, its just that nature has implemented this system that has my eyes being diverted on occasion. Its interesting that it also seems that the women of the world are quite aware of this predicament and do their very best to feed this insatiable beast. I am very hard pressed to think that every woman dresses for themselves or other woman. Its not like the whole of the female species is gay. So obviously the intent is for us. They want us to look. The delicate touches put there to accentuate all the right curves is obvious. Other than having a neon light above, it seems to scream out, "Hey, take a look at this". Now here is my question for both the men and women out there.

How Long is TOO Long??

What would the Teenage Jesus do?

I do not think Jesus ever directly said he did not sin, this seems to have been implied by other writers. So with that said,I have always wondered about the teenage Jesus. We know so little about this man's life. Most information is based on his final 3yrs of mortal existence and a few references to him as a child. But what happened when the testosterone hit? He is supposed to be fully human, so how do you think he handled the hormone surges? Afterall we do know he did express anger as an adult(righteous or not). So what do you think was on his mind when he was checking out the nice looking Jewish girls? I can just imagine if he was fully human he might have joked to his friends, "check out those melons".

Equality the aim? Guess again!

It has been many years since the beginning of the feminist movement. And though it has made many gains it still has a way to go. In the past it was obvious that women were treated as inferiors. They were paid less than a man, yet did the equal amount and quality of work. In divorce cases they were usually left with the short end of the stick. Before legalized abortion, womens lives were threatened with back room abortions. Its impressive how far we've come as a culture. There is still room for improvement though, and not all of it is in regards to equality for women. There is a voice out there that is not being heard. This voice is that of the genuine father. It is true that a womans body is her own, yet in the event of her becoming pregnant it is forgotten that it took someone else for this to occur. What happens to the father of a fetus(child) that is about to be aborted? His voice is not heard, the determination is left solely up to the woman. Is this fair or equal treatment? There are good men out there that are left in an emotional wasteland because their concerns are not being heard. They are helpless, and yet this is considered the way it should be. Another example is in the case of child support, when it was clearly agreed upon that the couple would not have a child. If the woman then decides to change her mind and get pregnant without the consent of the father, he is then legally required to pay support. Is this fair? Is this not a similar type of oppression that women faced years ago? In both these instances the father has no rights, he is at the mercy of the woman. Is this a type of inequality that we want our culture to promote? If inequality is not right for women, how can it be right for men? Lastly in the event of a divorce, typically it has been the woman who gets primary custody. Now I know this has changed drastically in the past decade, but it still has room for improvement. We should not judge all fathers based on the ones who are negligent. There are many good, upstanding men who want equal treatment in the rearing of their children. It is a common mistake to assume that women make better nurturers than fathers. My hope is that we are treated as equals in all areas. The truth is, there are good and bad apples in both genders.

They may be rights, but are they right?

I've recently been discussing fertility treatments and potential limits on it. The conversation then ventured into abortion and women's rights and their bodies. In the news there was a woman who bore 8 children do to fertility treatments, she also already has 6 children. The comment I responded to was that maybe this woman has mental issues and that potentially, fertility treatments should be legislated and limited. I remarked, "if that was the case, shouldnt abortion then be held to the same standard?" My example was a woman who had 10 abortions and was unwilling to practice safe sex and would continue to use abortion as a means of birth control. This example is just as ridiculous and potentially harmful as the woman who now has 14 children. Both are extreme examples of abusing certain "rights". My question is, "Is it right that women have complete control over what they do with their bodies?"

Egad, Im a Polygamist!!

Let me explain how this came to be. I have been married for 4 yrs and recently I've discovered that I am actually married to 4 different women.

Wife #1

Ah the wife who laughs at all my jokes. The one who thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. This wife allows me to be king(temporarily that is). The passion we have knows no bounds. We are in sync emotionally, intellectually and physically. WOW the freaking SEX is awesome.


Wife #2

She is somewhat more sensitive. I tread ever so lightly with my remarks. Though she is still very connected to me, the link is not quite as strong. I now know that we make LOVE, not so much have SEX. My jokes have lost some of their luster. All in all we are still very connected but I am aware that I need to watch my behaviour more closely. I'm soooo confused, whats happening??


Wife #3

Well now, Attila the Hun has nothing on this lady. Watch what you say or its "Off with your Head". Her glare strikes fear in my heart. Jokes, what's that? Life is serious business. I suggest we take a DEEP BREATH, Uh Oh.................


Wife #4

I now have my nurturing hat on. I summon all my strength to be the most Loving husband I can. Usually I fail miserably as I can't even begin to fathom the changes she endures. Whew thank god I'm a Man. "Wahhhhhh, you never understand, I wish you could feel what I feel". Oops sorry honey, I'll go get a chick flick.

I can't imagine having more than 4 wives. ;)

The Feminists that informed my world, didnt need to burn their Bras

I think back to the early women in my life. Though life may not have always treated them fairly or equally, it didnt matter, they rose above that and took life on its terms and made it wonderful for all of their loved ones(which included friends and neighbours). The 3 women I am going to pay Homage to all had a profound impact on my life, here are a few words about each one of them.

1. Granny: this is how we all remember her. A woman who lived through the depression, 2 world wars and countless other challenges in life. She usually brought love and strength to the people in her life. When her husband was away at war she ran the house, as well as working in the factory to insure a good income for her family. She was a strong woman who let you know where the line was and not to cross it. Though we all respected her, none of us feared her, because along with her strength came an incredible amount of Love. I never heard her complain, even as the arthritis ravaged her body. She always had a place for her children and grandchildren and she was as loyal as they come. Her life sure wasnt perfect but in no way did she think it was unfair to her. She is the first of the feminists I have known.

2. Auntie Joyce: Ever wish you had a second mother? Well I was fortunate enough to have one. She is another incredibly strong woman, mind you its no wonder considering who her mother was. When we were young boys we had chance to watch a woman physically work along side her husband and build a cottage for her family. She would wrestle with us and kick our butts. No chance that we would beat this "girl", she was just too tough. At 60yrs old she joked with me that she could still take me out. I looked in her eyes and remembered thinking, maybe she could, lol. On top of keeping us in check, Auntie Joyce gave us incredible amounts of Love and Nuturing. We are blessed.

3. My Mommy: This is how my brother and sister referred to her. I remember in Highschool my brother and I calling her mommy and some friends went to tease us, after the look they got from my brother they quickly stopped. Life definately wasnt fair to my Mom, though she married and had 3 healthy children, life then showed how unequal it can sometimes be. At 30 her husband died, leaving her alone to raise 3 young children. Over the years we have watched the ultimate feminist. She went back to school obtaining a Masters Degree all the while raising her family and working. She was caregiver, income provider, educator, peacemaker, but mostly she was Mommy. The challenges my mother has had were always met with resolve and dignity. She is a shining example of how one can respond to the inequities of life. The people in her life have been blessed by her presence. This poem is for you Mom.

"All the endless days and nights, you watched me grow
Trying to show me and have me say no
It seemed I learned nothing or not quite enough
But the greatest gift you gave me
You taught me how to love
And for that I thank you."

Who would have imagined? A secular man enjoying a Scriptural world.

A friend of mine was curious how someone who grew up in a secular world could be so interested in discussing Religion and Scripture. I never really gave it much thought, I just assumed everyone would be interested. LOL, boy was I wrong. I grew up without any religious views on the world. As a family we never went to church or synagogue or mosque. There were never discussions on God, nor were there any on what may have started the universe as we know it. But looking back I see that my family has an inate sense of Spirituality. I think I have always known in my heart that there is a creative driving force. I just dont buy into any one belief. What draws me to reading and discussing scripture is that its essence is more about how to live life. The people who have penned these wonderful writings are just like you and I. They have experienced what we are experiencing in our lives, and in many instances they have excellent ideas on how to deal with them. Even the times when they didnt deal well with their situations, we can learn from that also. The Poetic nature of these writings has also been a pull for me. It speaks of the Humaness of us all that we try to find practical and creative ways to deal with our "not knowing". We all seem to have a rhythm that our hearts beat to, what your "choice" of music is depends on your spirit, just remember though, its all of us that are playing the instruments.

"Truth is one, the Sages speak of it by many names"

When pain knocks at the door, is it a welcome guest?

Do you ever notice how most of us try to avoid painful stuff without necessarily taking a look at whats happening and what purpose it may serve. I have been having several discussions lately and the common theme is how to avoid pain. Isnt the focus of most of our spiritual and Ideological beliefs based on this idea. Christianity and other religions enforce the idea if you have the right belief you will avoid eternal pain. Communism tends to be based on the belief that we can avoid the pain of being taken advantage of if we all work together equally. Life has this Dual element to it(Pain and Pleasure). I think back to my youth, I was a small kid, I grew up in a violent enviroment. One aspect that came out of those painful times is that I became physically stronger. I developed the strength to not only protect myself but I now have the ability to protect my Loved ones. Had I not had those early experiences this would not be the case. Many of our artists creations are born of despair. Poetry, music, Art and countless other ideas came from pain, without it they would not have materialized. A blogging friend(Yael) has pointed out on several occasions that part of who we are includes our painful parts. Without them we would not be who we are. Now I am not saying to enjoy the pain(unless youre a masochist lol), but the point is dont try to avoid it, learn from it. So with that said, when my crusty old friend comes knocking I think I will invite him in and ask "What do you have to teach me today"

Just Wondering?

I was thinking. In the midst of a really good orgasm, do you think an Atheist yells, "Oh my God, Dont stop, Im coming"

What does it take?............Effort.

We all wonder what makes a great relationship. The common belief is that if we just find the "right" person, our "soul mate" everything will work out fine. The truth is that all our relationships require effort. It is an effort to communicate, compromise and on the really challenging days just plain getting along is tough. I love the feeling of being in "Love", I like the high, just as Im sure most of us do. But is that what a real relationship is about? I think the feeling is more about nature making sure that we procreate. The real relationship begins when that "high" becomes more moderate. It is in that frame that we need some Effort. This post is for all those people who Love, and in their Love they hopefully show it with their Effort. Somedays I need that reminder too.

The two of us are one of a kind

A combination aint easy to find

Why do I get a feeling from you

Things aint right?

Do you need something new?

Knowing how both of us live

Leaves us so little to give

If I could grow wingsI would do anything

Just to keep you with me

Cant you see?

If I could fly high

I would give you the sky

Dont you make that mistake

What does it take?

It's not like I've been mean to you

Its not like I've got something better to do

The life I live you'll never understand

If you fly with me we'd never have to land

Its easy to live hard and fast

But inside we know it wont last

Oh yeahhhhhhh

Knowing how both of us live

Leaves us so lilttle to giveYeahhhhhh

What does it take?

What does it take?

What does it take?

What does it take?

Who's playing....Who cares?......Why extreme atheism and religion dont sound right!

Do you ever notice how the extremes of atheism and religion seem to be so rooted in structure. Its like they are both filled by people who crave rules, regulations and verifiable outcomes. It reminds me so much of people who, while listening to music, miss the rhythm because their so focused on how it was made.

Me: Hey guys want to hear an awesome song?

Religionist: Isnt it amazing the blessing God has bestowed on his Musicians, we should be thankful.

Atheist: Ah cut the crap,We should be thankful that these people are disciplined and hardworking to take the time to learn the notes and how to play the instruments.

Me: I find it incredible how sometimes music can be so comforting and soothing.

Atheist: Thats because when the sound hits your eardrum it creates a physiological response in your brain that in turn causes a release of Serotonin and Endorphins that calm your central nervous system.

Religionist: Oh here we go again. How can you not see that it is actually the spirit of God entering your body and helping to create the peace on earth that believers are born to have.

Me: What about when the music is a little more raucous and it makes me more lively and full of energy.

Religionist: Oh you may want to be careful, depending on the music, that could be the work of the Devil. You know how he uses that rock stuff to gain entry.

Atheist: Is it just me or is he nuts? Actually the response caused by that type of music is usually just a release of adrenalin or in the case of young guys probably Testosterone lol.

Religionist: Stop trying to deny the presence of the Lord.

Atheist: Stop smoking those funny cigarettes.

Me: Whooooa Boys. Why dont you guys just put a cork in it. You do realize that most of us just like to,

LISTEN TO THE MUSIC.

Heres a Vid I hope you all Love. Watch Jeff go, some people dont need to be able to read it, they just get it. Oh and for all the Purists out there, sometimes the remake is better than the original.

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping

While my guitar gently weeps

I look at the floor and I see it need sweeping

Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love

I don't know how someone controlled you

they bought and sold you

I look at the world and I notice it's turning

While my guitar gently weeps

With every mistake we must surely be learning

Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know how you were diverted

you were perverted too

I don't know how you were inverted

no one alerted you

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping

While my guitar gently weeps,

I look at you all

Still my guitar gently weeps